I haven’t written in awhile. This is very painful, not just on a daily but on a minute by minute basis. But we ran into Mrs. Fleming, Erin’s 4th grade teacher, around a month ago at dinner one night and she asked if I had a copy of Erin’s I Am poem. Not only did I not have a copy, I had no idea that she had written it for class. It is so beautiful, and sweet, that I want to share it with you. Enjoy, and #missingerin
I have not posted as much as I would like because it has been extremely hard this time of year without Erin. But I do have some positive updates to share.
I continue to be amazed at how people are wearing the wrist bands to honor Erin’s memory. It warms our hearts to see friends old and new wearing them. Here is a picture of our cousin Ford P. wearing his at work in Starkville, MS. You may recognize him from a picture shown at Erin’s service, where he was holding her at his high school graduation.
Also, Mrs. Ellett, librarian at HCES, asked me to send additional bands last week so that they could give them to all of the 5th grade girls. I was happy to do so, but don’t know what her plan is, so if you are waiting on one it may be when school returns. I am still mailing them out, though, so feel free to ask for one or more. Just tell me where to send them, what color (Blue or Purple), and what size (L or M). The mediums fit most adults and children, but some with larger wrists or hands may want a large.
I couldn’t find where I posted here, but on my website I know I posted about the fur baby Alyssa, who Friends of Rescue named while she was their foster in honor of Erin (they had already named a little kitten Erin). Well, Alyssa was adopted over the weekend and her new family decided to keep her name after hearing Erin’s story. They also live in Hampton Cove, so if you know anyone who has a new doggie named Alyssa, please hug and thank them for me. Here is a picture of her in her new home.
Oh how Erin would have loved all of this! It still amazes me how she has touched so many. I hear new things every day and it seems that her death only increased the light she shined on the world. I can assure you that consciously, she had no idea how she affected people. She was such a sweet soul, and often stuffed her emotions because she felt so deeply. Thank you to everyone who loved and who loves her. Your love will help us to get through our first Christmas without our Angel Erin.
Erin’s Mommy aka Ms. Nicole
For anyone who wanted a wrist band or wants one, I still have medium in purple (fits my wrist and most wrists), and the large size purple and blue ones just shipped today. I have a stack to mail today so please email me your address, which size, which color(s) and how many and I will send to you. This is something that I want to do and so if you want one, don’t be shy. I’ll also be taking a batch over to HCES when I get them in. Well, I may have to send them by someone. Not sure if I’m ready to go to the school just yet 🙁
Don’t forget to use #missingerin if you want to actively remember Erin on your social media.
Erin’s Mommy (Ms. Nicole)
I have to admit that I sort of ripped this post title off from a friend who writes a blog, Lisa Gawlas. Here is a link to her article by that name. It really struck me when I saw it yesterday, because Erin used to pick up pebbles everywhere. And she would keep them! I used to find pebbles in all of her drawers, and found one in my purse on Sunday along with an “eyeball” rubber ball of hers that I have had for so long I don’t remember how or when it made it into my purse. I bet if I had the courage to go into her room right now, and look in her clothes drawers, I would find at least one pebble. I admit that I don’t have the courage to do that just yet, but I am confident that there are pebbles there.
I also used to find acorns. She and Simone H. used to collect acorns from the playground at HCES. There were no mature oak trees near our home, and anyway, they would collect them and acorns would also make it home and into my purse, and her drawers, and elsewhere. Last year before Halloween, they had a sleepover and had this elaborate plan to paint the acorns orange. We visited Hobby Lobby and got paint, and they painted their acorns but never did anything with them. Here is their sleepover plan. I found it with her stuff.
And yes, the orange acorns are still in somewhere in her room. I suspect that I will never get rid of them.
Just wanted to share this little pebble of love <3 #missingerin
As I mentioned the other day, Hampton Cove Elementary is setting up a reading area in the library in honor of Erin. I really didn’t expect anything more than the shadowbox of pictures that Mrs. Ellett mentioned, and maybe a table and bookshelf. So I was even more touched and honored when Simone H’s mom sent me a picture of the tree they are building. Simone is helping, and is pictured. The lighting was bad – one day I will try to get a better one.
By the way, Simone H. was Erin’s other BFF. She was blessed with two, and loved them equally and uniquely. How lucky is that? Many never even have one BFF in their lifetimes.
As a mom missing my child, you can’t imagine the comfort and joy that it gives me to find out about these types of things. Even the smallest thing can bring me some joy. Joy is hard to come by. I miss Erin today so much, I have cried and cried. So anyway, thank you HCES. She hated having to go and sit and learn, like all kids, but she loved her school and her friends and teachers. And most of all, she loved to read.
You would think that the Tree would be pretty outstanding, but look what I was tagged in today on FaceBook after giving some wrist bands to one of my best and oldest friends, Dawn Roth…
That is the entire Roth clan. Just the fact that anyone wears these wrist bands, is sweet and amazes me. But this…this is amazing and has touched me deeply. Thank you Roth family.
The interesting thing about Erin’s life is that the Roth’s barely knew her. Life gets in the way, you know, and we just didn’t see each other very much. But her light both in life and in her death has touched many. It’s little solace, but amazing nonetheless. I may be grieving, but I am not blind.
I plan to share via blog post as many days as I can to honor Erin’s memory, but I will probably keep my grief journey located on my website Bluestarhome.net. It’s heavy stuff, and I want this site to be more about celebration and appropriate for kids and adults alike.
Hugs and blessings,
Erin’s Mommy aka Ms. Nicole
I am thrilled to announce that Mrs. Ellett at Hampton Cove Elementary School (HCES) recently obtained some pictures from me to set up a section honoring Erin in the HCES library. The pictures were chosen to capture Erin’s spirit, and I think I did a good job in choosing a few that did. She plans to set up a reading area, and put the pictures in a shadow box. I don’t know when the area will be set up, but I assume very soon.
On that note, I plan to send some wrist bands up there once I reorder. I noted on my other blog that I was sure Erin would want the boys to have blue ones, so I plan to order some blue and more purple (her favorite color) but in Large size. Oh, and maybe in another month, I will feel OK about donating most of her books to the HCES library. My plan is to put a nice sticker inside saying something like “In Memory of Erin Alyssa Canter.” She had so many books, and loved to read, and even though we bought a book a week sometimes, she still checked out books from the school library. They had better books than the Public Library, but she had a library card anyway.
Her last visit to the Public Library, she was hurting and didn’t feel good, but there was a slim selection of things she liked but hadn’t read so I don’t think we left with anything. She still enjoyed going, though.
A short story…almost all of her teachers had to get on to her (i.e., every year) about reading when she was supposed to be doing something else. She would get her book out and hold it down below the desk line, and they would catch on when they would see her eyes downward. What a thing to get in trouble for! It was more that she was supposed to be doing something else, of course, but funny all the same.
Remember to use #missingerin on your social media to actively keep Erin’s memory alive! She touched so many people that it would be ashamed not to share her with those who didn’t know her!